I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
