At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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