i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
