Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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