omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
