her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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