Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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