the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
