We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
