So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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