That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow