So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is her dick bigger than yours?