Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day

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(973): yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day http://tfl.nu/9i5e

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Are you okay?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.

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(908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. http://tfl.nu/ztu1

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(512): View more from Texas

Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.

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(512): Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker. http://tfl.nu/5qzf

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(714): View more from California

thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.

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(714): thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him. http://tfl.nu/1l2e

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a beautiful day for a hangover

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(215): It's a beautiful day for a hangover http://tfl.nu/x1e7

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(716): View more from New York

I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you

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(716): I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you http://tfl.nu/bf9k

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(765): View more from Indiana

the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....

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(765): the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians.... http://tfl.nu/hvak

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(501): View more from Arkansas

My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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(501): My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class? http://tfl.nu/2kq9

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.

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(304): It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly. http://tfl.nu/eai2

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.

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(201): My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf. http://tfl.nu/v6hn

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(419): View more from Ohio

I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.

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(419): I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama. http://tfl.nu/jhww

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(336): View more from North Carolina

If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

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(336): If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone. http://tfl.nu/bfil

Replies (12) Good night (1114) Bad night (339)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(

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(705): Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :( http://tfl.nu/qlv4

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(219): View more from Indiana

N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..

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(219): N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever.. http://tfl.nu/4w8h

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(727): View more from Florida

I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.

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(727): I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate. http://tfl.nu/o1ey

Replies (5) Good night (1369) Bad night (235)

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