He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket