I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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