worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
