She is in my trunk
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
