i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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