New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
