Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
