Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
