I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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