I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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