Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
