i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
