i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
