It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
