No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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