I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
