im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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