tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
