Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so that wasnt chicken after all
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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