Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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