i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
