Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
