remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So apparently I’m into choking now
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
