Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
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I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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