True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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