i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
