You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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