i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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