I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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