after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
