omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the day after is always just damage control
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
