I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
