everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Holy shit dude........stairs
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