wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
