Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
how drunk are you?
Several
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
