Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
