"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
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