I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
