i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
