So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
