Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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