He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
