ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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