Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
