I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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