It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
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you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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