sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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