i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
