I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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