I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
