Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize