maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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