4 words: hood of his car
two words: eviction party
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
