What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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