Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
