I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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